Musing #1

I sometimes wonder what they are doing, how they are. Sometimes more than I am ever willing to admit. They were there, we were friends, but in the blink of an eye, all that seems to have disappeared. Apparently, absence does not make the heart grow fonder. No. It makes the heart forget. Or maybe it has shown that what you thought was real may have never existed. The great thing about that being that you will never know because it is doubtful the person will ever tell you themselves.

I am thinking about her again. Thinking and thinking, but not talking. I don’t know what to say anymore. ‘I am sorry’ doesn’t seem quite right, I don’t think I have anything to apologize for. ‘I miss you’ sounds so inane, but it is surprisingly true. I miss her. She was my best friend for so long.

So what do you do after you lose touch? After a friendship has grown cold? I actually ventured onto Facebook to try to talk to her, but I just couldn’t figure out what to say. “Hi.” It is really inane and she probably won’t reply to me, she never has whenever I have tried talking to her before. I am sorry for that.

I wish we hadn’t grown apart. I wish we hadn’t stopped talking. I wish I knew why things ended up this way, but I don’t have a clue. So we remain as strangers who were once friends. High school acquaintances and nothing more. I wish it were more.

Another mystery that hurts my brain entirely too much.


One thought on “Musing #1

  1. everybody i've been in contact with from high school… well… yaaaaah. our class was something special, alright. from the girl who was late to grad practice because she had been getting her divorce finalized so she could get remarried, or how darn near everybody had kids by then (up to the age of 7), and how one girl i knew kept moving in with her multiple boyfriends, or how another girl and her boyfriend had cheated on each other so much that they didn't know who gave who which veneral disease, and the one girl who took so many drugs that she's now on disability, or the three hundred other things that happened… point is, out of the 400 or so of us that graduated that year from that school, i'm thinking we had a stunningly low life-success rate. which is why i avoided the recent 10 year reunion like the black death. thanks, but i've failed enough on my own – i don't need the rest of those dimwits to help me out, any.

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